Quotes
.71
2015-10-19 22:24:54
Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
2015-09-03 22:24:13
Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
2015-06-10 22:23:38
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.
2015-03-11 22:22:38
One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night.
2014-12-22 22:21:48
I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.
2014-11-21 22:21:13
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
2014-10-09 20:53:13
A sufficient and sure method of civilization is the influence of good women.
2014-09-28 23:32:41
Ted: And I wasted it.
I mean, how many places have I ruined forever by being there with the wrong girl?
Lilly: So come back with the right girl.
Ted: I don't know.
I'm starting to think a person gets a certain allotment of lighthouses per lifetime.
And I've used all mine up.
Ted the Narrator: And that, kids, is the kind of stupid thing you say before you've met the person who hits the reset button on the world, who makes everything new again, who makes it seem ridiculous that you ever considered settling...
2014-09-10 22:19:03
I love being married. It's so great to find the one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
